every day i sit there and i think about all the millions of things we could be talking about and the little subtleties of our interactions and i know none of it will ever materialize. the longer i dream about the less there is left in reality. that's the rule, the law, the equation. i have known but never learned. that is my fault. i know what is right and wrong, what is real and fiction, what is true and false, but i always pretend like this time everything will turn out different and get slapped in the face. every time. the only positive attention they ever give me is in my head. i need to get out. i need to find the person who will make me happy. always i think i have found them and then they hate me. slowly at first, but they know they can never last and i can see it in them too. i figure the more people i meet the closer i will get to love.
but i dont know how to say hello.